A Big Job
Yesterday I was going through a really tough time on a personal level. I recently decided to get out of a relationship that has been very close to my heart for a long time. It was not a decision I took lightly. It was not a decision I even wanted to make. But I had to do it. And the past two weeks have been a roller coaster of emotions. And during that time Mark has popped in and out here and there providing me with a warm feeling of assurance that everything would be okay.
But yesterday was different. Mark and I had a conversation. I felt like I needed to tell him something and I wasn't sure how he would take it. I told him that he didn't need to keep taking care of me all of the time. I felt him smile. I felt him understand. He knew that I was growing, expanding, strengthening and learning how to love myself. He also, to my surprise, seemed excited. I wondered why?
Then he said, "I have a big job to do." I just sat there and waited. He said, "I want to go out and touch those who will benefit from the book. So they will find it." And I understood.
He had been hanging around me like an angel but he had bigger things that were supposed to be on his plate. Bigger things that would help the world. And it was time. So, while there was a tiny moment where I felt the grab of not wanting to let go of him. It did not stay for more than a moment. Because I know in the depths of my heart that his lifetime, and since, occurred so that people could heal. So people could feel. So they could love themselves and others and life itself in a whole new way.
So, thank you once again Mark. For both being here, and there. And I'm excited to see what happens. Because I know the kind of man you were and I know the kind of spirit you are and you will touch the lives of many.