Over the last year and a half I bought and remodeled a home for us that is closer to the boys new school. The first day I set foot on the property, before I even purchased it, I knew I was going to live there. I also knew that between that moment, and when we moved in, it was going to be a back-breaking job to remodel. I knew it so deeply in my bones that I sat in the back yard on a wall (that first day) and cried.
The home was 40 years old and needed almost everything. But, it was just over a mile from their school, had “good bones”, was on an acre and had an old basketball court that the boys loved.
Over the next ten months the home proved to me that it had a mind of it’s own. No matter how much I planned, organized, double checked and made lists, many things shifted regardless of my ‘plans’. It felt like the home decided that the electrical box needed to be moved. It decided that it wanted ALL new drywall (The day it rained 10 inches when the roof was off.) It even decided it wanted to have extra support.
After 9 months of frustration and pushing, I finally realized that in order to stay sane I had to let go of any outcome regarding the home and our move-in date. By a sheer outpouring of miracles, one month later we moved into our new home.
I do believe in having a plan, and doing everything in your power to make things happen. But the experience of the remodel also taught me that when life gets very difficult, that sometimes the most important thing to do is trust that everything will turn out ok and turn it over to the universe.
The same thing happened this week in another area of my life. I had been concerned for months about an issue at the boy’s school. And finally on Wednesday I broke down with frustration after trying so hard to help and figure things out. I looked up to the sky and said, “I’m done. I surrender, I know you can fix this better than me.”
Within two hours I ran into a woman I hadn’t seen in two years. She had the perfect solution for the problem at the school. When I presented it to the teacher she was extremely excited and grateful.
I used to think you should push until things work. Now I think you should push until things get difficult and then you should let it roll on it’s own. The universe will hold things together that are truly right. It will straighten everything out for the best.
Surrender, and believe.