Two years ago today…

Two years ago today.

Two years ago today I woke up and thought I was still married.

I experienced the biggest shock in my life.

I looked at my children as if they had lost their future.

I crumbled to my knees more than once.

I had all semblance of control I thought I had, ripped out of my hands, without a say.

I felt the deepest emotional pain of my life.

I saw my world and foundation torn to shreds in a moment.

I said goodbye to my life partner.

And… two years ago today I began a new life.

I saw and felt kindness and love in ways I’d never experienced.

I realized what people would do for me and my children, instantly and without me asking.

I took my first step as a single parent.

I held friends and family in my arms over and over. And they held me.

I heard the phone ring all day.

I watched my children navigate the water of their new world. And not drown.

I realized how much a pet can mean to a person. And vice versa.

I understood what a friend was.

I knew what it meant to be loved by other human beings unconditionally. And to love them unconditionally.

I shared sorrow, pain, fear, anger, disbelief, numbness, and love with others.

My heart broke, but it broke open.

I love you Mark. We miss you. We are doing really well. But you already know that.