As the time nears for the two year anniversary of Mark’s death I am becoming a bit anxious again. Last year I was a mess, it was the worst day, or even week leading up to it. Everything seemed to be coming at me at a hundred miles an hour. All I wanted to do was hide. But, I’d planned a “celebration” with many of Mark’s friends and family. So, I went, and the time passed. And yes, Mark helped me through.

This year, I’ve planned nothing.

I don’t know how I feel about that. Nobody has suggested anything, but I’ve not either. What is appropriate? What if nobody even acknowledges the day this year?

When Mark died, the cards stopped coming in daily after about a month. I wondered, when do people start to forget? When do they completely go back to their busy lives?

I don’t know the answers to any of these questions. They are just questions that I get to live with. Now, and maybe for the rest of my life. Loosing a mate is a life-changing event like no other, especially when there are children. There are still pictures of Mark on many walls in our home. As if he was still here. The boys ask about him daily.

On February 4th, my wish is you take a few minutes to think about people in your life who are special to you. Then take the time to communicate that to them. Believe me, if not now, when?

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